爱的记忆

爱的记忆

现在的我静下来的时候最先想到的总会是这样三个人,熙宝(我的宝宝)、爸爸和老公(这个称呼我似乎第一次用),对这三个人我付出了最多爱。我喜欢热闹和疯闹,却也非常喜欢发呆,享受沉浸在自己世界中,像是一种恋爱的感觉。

真的,我从来没想过有一天我还会爱一个人,爱到随时会发疯的地步,直到熙宝出现,我完全不能去做那样的尝试,尝试想象她受到一点点伤害,仅仅是想想,我都会受不了。

虽然我凡是都喜欢简单,我不喜欢去算计各种利益好坏,去掺和复杂的人际关系,我只会单纯的去做我自己的事,也因为这样,以前大家总是觉得我单纯,对男女之情完全不懂,也从不会跟我去谈论类似话题。大学时期,哪些喜欢过我的男生(包括我老公 ) , 感激他们曾经的喜欢和对我的好,也教会了我什么是喜欢,什么是爱,喜欢是让自己开心的,一个人可以喜欢很多人,喜欢男生女生都一样,都会有喜欢,但是爱不一样,爱是让你流泪,心痛的,爱一个人会吃醋,只想独享,喜欢却是可以分享的。

现在的我,跟老公认识超过10年,在一起也已经7年之久,有了自己的孩子,在一个人的生命中,最重要的人应该都已经出现了。从出生的21年里面,我一心一意的只爱着我的爸爸,忽略了所有的人,妈妈对我来说都是陌生不亲近的。可以说,爸爸的一切渗入我的生命里,爸爸他应该从来想象不到我会有多爱他。很多时候,我对老公甚至有点愧疚,因为我一直觉得最让我痛心的人不是他,而是我爸爸,这是我确认爱的方法。

但是熙宝的出现,让我对自己爱一个人的感觉有了新的认识,或许在爱着爸爸的时候有时候这种感觉也出现过,熙宝,她是一个可以随时让我发疯的人,我真的不知道自己可以为了她有多疯狂,也因为这样,我觉得自己有了最大的软肋和羁绊。

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